Visualize!
Think about it!
Obsess about it!

I’m not talking about visualizing a 747 jetliner to fall from the sky and land on your husband’s affair partner. (but I do know it’s an option)

I’m talking about visualizing 5 years from now. What does that look like?

He’s home. In your bed. In your life. Away from the Whatever he is doing now.

If you think about what you want. EXACTLY what you want. You will feel, think and act toward it. You will MOVE toward it.

Just like when you go to a party? If before the party all you think about is, “This is going to be terrible. No one will like me…” Guess what? You will go to that party and NO ONE WILL LIKE YOU.

If you think before the party, “I’m so kind and lovely, everyone will talk to me and I will make 3 new friends prior to leaving.” Guess What? Everyone will think this about you!

How does that happen?

When you think about what you want, you alert this contraption inside your brain called the reticular activating system (RAS). The Reticular Activating System helps you focus on one thing and getting that one thing. The (RAS) is a bundle of nerves at our brainstem that filters out unnecessary information so the important stuff gets through. The RAS is the reason you learn a new word and then start hearing it everywhere.

The other reason this works, this telling yourself what is going happen is because WE has humans have to be right. We believe in what we say, we don’t speak untruths. We speak the truth and that’s why we get into arguments with others, because we are right! So if you say you are terrible at tennis…when you get on the court, you are going to SUCK. Why? Becuase you have to be right. You will subconcsiously suck so that you can be RIGHT!

Make sense?

So what you say to yourself, what you say to your brain and what you VISUALIZE matters.

I want you to visualize the perfect saturday with your husband. I want you to visualize him in your bed, on the pillow next to you. I want you to see him happy and smiling. I want you to see you happy and smiling. Now, see him in your kitchen cooking or eating and smiling.

Now I want you to see him in the garage or in your backyard or in your shower while you hug him and he’s smiling.

SEE these things as if they are coming to you.

Your brain will now cause you to ACT in that way because it’s coming.

Just like when there is danger coming. You alert your brain that “Danger” is near and you will ACT on it. Subconsciously.

Homework: Start taking 5 minutes a day and visualize what you want! 5 minutes!!! The alarm goes off in your bed and you lay there – 5 mins- and think about what you want. SEE it!!

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Laurie McDermott is a Writer, Marriage Coach, Speaker at women events and conferences and posts regularly on Youtube.com. She also is a recurring guest on many radio & TV shows. Book her here!