What would Jesus do? If he was married and his wife ran off with one of his other desciple buddies? Would he be mad? Pissed off? Bitter? Would he hunt that guy down, attack him, shoot him, cut off his balls? Or would he calmly say a prayer to wish them safe and well…forgiving his wife and the man for both their wrongdoing? YES! Ugh! Ugh! Seriously? This is what we are supposed to do? It’s insane. But it’s right. It seems crazy impossible. But it’s right.
See my struggle?
When you get betrayed by the one person you’ve shared a life with that promised to love you till one of you dies, the first thing you think about is not wishing him/her well. The first of many thoughts steamrolling into your brain at the same time are: How did this happen? What did I do wrong? How can I get them back? How can I destroy this “thing” that is stealing my partner? This stranger invader who thinks they know my partner than me and is planning a life with them together??? How can I destroy??? Where do I even start??
I doubt Jesus would do that. It wouldn’t even cross his mind. It crossed mine.
See how far off I was from this Jesus role model thing?
I always joked that i could never have a gun in my home because if anything happened that jolted me to react crazy, I may kill someone. That one night, when my husband answered a call from his ‘girlfriend’ in our home, with my oldest child in the room, walking away into a closed room to talk to her…I went red. Red. The uncontrollable feeling of wanting to hurt someone. i have NEVER felt that way before. Ever. In my whole life. It was about 1-3 seconds where i turned to the hall closet for anything to barge through that door and beat him till he hurt like I did.
As a writer, I was so engrossed by my feelings and thoughts. I actually stopped. What just happened? Standing outside the door of the room where my husband chatted away with his “new friend”, time stopped for me. I was completely absorbed in dissecting that insanely strong quick uncontrollable urge to violently hurt another. Wow. I actually understood from that single tiny moment in time, why sane, normal, kind, sweet, good people can go into red and kill. Kill someone they even loved. I understood. It was amazing and horrifying all at the same time.
Even if you aren’t a Catholic, don’t like religion or don’t give a crap. We can all agree that this Jesus guy was a nice, kind, wonderful human that traveled the earth intentionally trying to make life better for many, many people. To love each other, care for each other and just be the best person you can be to one another.
But we all screw it up.
I am Catholic. And those words, “What would Jesus do…?” have lead and tormented me. Like the other day when someone gave me an extra tip by mistake. I wanted to keep it. I struggled for a good minute…but then I listened to those above words, argued with my inner voice, and went back and told the man about his mistake. He was grateful but changed the tab and I lost money. Money that would have been mine…by a mistake….his mistake.
Since Jesus never got married (well as far as we know) using that “What would Jesus do” in my marriage has been a molding experience. I’ve had to make up what would he do with the guy I’m married to…when he is mean, when he ignores me, when he goes out drinking till 2am on a Tuesday..and can’t drive the kids to school because he’s still drunk.
Would Jesus tell him, “What are you doing?? Get your head out of your ass! You have a wife and kids and a life at home. Be a role model!” Or would he say, “You are going through a hard time right now and making choices that have sever consequences. I want you to know I’m here for you…”
I didn’t even know or realize the second response would have gone a lot better than how I behaved. When I felt my husband pulling away in 2012, I mirrored him. I just pulled away too. Ignoring. Bad idea. He needed someone for support and while he’d be in a ball sick or sleeping till 11 on a weekday, I didn’t comfort him and say, “What can I do…” I was reactive, “What are you doing?!”
Big mistake. That is when he found someone else for support. Some girl who went with a married man because he needed her. I can’t blame her. I have to blame them both.
But for all those girls out there that cheat with a married man, shame on you. If you mess with a married man or woman, you are putting so many lives on a path for hurt and destruction.
What would Jesus do?
He wouldn’t cheat. He’d pass. He’d stay faithful and be the man we all hope the men in our lives choose to me. MEN. Faithful, strong leaders. For us and for our children.
If you have any questions about retaliation or get
Do Not Repay Anyone evil for evil. Carefully consider what is right.
or my other favorite:
Vengence is mine, I will repay