10 Simple Rules For A Happy Marriage are….
Rules for a happy marriage are far and wide. Google it. There are plenty. There are even books.
But nothing works if you don’t try and follow something. Anything!!
Since you are here…read the ones I’ve listed below and try and follow them.
If it’s only you…meaning you not your spouse and you…then so be it! DO IT. Alone! Your spouse will join you and follow you…or they will notice you are doing something different….and ask…or they will not even notice.
If that last one happens….your spouse may be daft or having an affair. Both are possible at the same time. Actually they both DO occur at the same time!
My coaching clients have said, “Yeah…but if I’m the one to start it…that’s not fair…why do ‘I’ have to be the one to do it?”
My response? Because you are the one who cares right now. And if you don’t care…the won’t either. It just takes one. So if it’s you that cares…it means it’s you that takes your marriage seriously.
Did you forget your vows? It was such a breeze to say them back then cause it seemed easy to do before “they” screwed up. Your vows are your real rules to your marriage. If you can find them…pull them out and read what you said you were going to do. I bet you will roll your eyes and be bewildered that you made that type of promise to someone. Anyone for that matter.
Ask yourself….to repeat your vows and then act on them. Do them. If you want things to change/or be better in your marriage, they can be better, it’ll just be up to you to make it happen.
If you sit around hoping or even demanding that your spouse participate or that they are the one to start everything you may be digging your own divorce certificate. So don’t wait. Do not be a stubborn beast. Specially when we feel we “lose” something by doing the right thing and standing up for what you believe in. Just stand up for your marriage. Stand up for your vows. Stand up for yourself and what you said you were going to do when you married your spouse.
The only thing you will lose by doing nothing is lots of money to pay for a divorce lawyer. So do something. Now. Quietly. Or if things aren’t that bad, hand him the list below and suggest you follow these rules.
You’ve got nothing to lose. (And don’t say Pride, because pride does NOT below in a marriage. Ever.)
1. Never be angry at your spouse for being angry at you. Cause then you have two people angry. If one is mad, the other must find compassion and understanding and the ability to listen to the mad one. If this does NOT make sense….re-read. It’s first but it’s a big one.
2. Never yell at each other unless someone is dying or something’s on fire.
3. Winning or losing arguments aren’t an option in marriage. But Solutions are.
4. Never criticize your spouse. Ever. Make suggestions lovingly.
5. Never bring up wrong doings from the past. The past is over. Move on.
6. If given the choice, neglect the whole entire world rather than each other.
7. Never go to sleep with an unsettled argument. No one will sleep. And negativity brews worse thoughts. Stop it. No sleep till it’s settled. Even if someone is tired. Even if you agree to disagree, be sure to comfort your partner, assure the other and hug and say “I love you…”
8. Hug your partner at least 4 times a day. Real hugs. Two arms, body to body, squeeze.
9. Before bed tell you partner something you appreciate about him/her.
10. When you have done something wrong, face up, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
11. Bonus. Were you even counting anyway?? Stop arguing. Just don’t do it. Refuse. (It takes two people to argue, so if you don’t do it, your partner can’t argue alone.)
Thats it. If you aren’t happy yet. Stop and repeat from the top!