What One Wife Wrote to Her Midlife Crisis Husband!
Today, a wonderful wife and woman, who I coach to help bring her husband back to her, shared with me the clip to the left! I read it immediately and noticed the top name. “Hmmm….” I thought…”I’d love to talk to this woman! She has spunk and drive! And if you’ve been reading my articles and stories on here, you KNOW I love people like her!”
So I went to Facebook and searched her name and photo and THERE IT WAS!! I messaged her and in a few moments she messaged back!! I love Facebook for that reason! People are easy to find and relatively kind. We had a quick call and I learned more about what this woman did and I was so proud of her! She had not worked with me, but I like how she DUG AND DUG and attempted to put into action things she was learning.
What works? What doesn’t. How will you know unless you do them??
Symptom of Midlife Crisis
What I love about the words she wrote is that she “let him go” from his responsibility of taking care of her. Men hold that high on list of their priorities. And when things get stressful, they run from all things that steal them from the life they want. And by releasing him, and telling him so, he feels free. Which is what we want for him right now.
While it’s not the whole strategy it is one chunk and she dove into the details on the one. She also complimented him and made him feel like he is her king and hero! I love that too!
And making her happy? That is never job for another to take on. Cause the only person that can make you happy is yourself. If you are not happy, it is most likely something you can look at on the inside, without blaming anyone else.
I have a number of girlfriends here in CA who after being pregnant fell into depression. They didn’t accuse or divorce their husbands for her happiness being his fault. They went straight to the doctor and said, “Help!! WTF??? I am not happy….I had a new baby and I want to be happy…help me!”
It was almost humorous the day I sat around with 9 women at a Mommy and me after gather (stay-at-home-moms can make a whole day go by together – and this is a good thing!) and one mom said, “I went on Prozac today…” No one else gasped. In fact over 1/2 of the women there started laughing and admitted to being on something as well. It was very eye-opening. But what it also told me, that we women, are smart. We “get it.” Instead of pulling in and blaming someone for our misery. We dig in and figure out what is wrong with us on the inside.
What would MLC be like if men did that same thing. “Honey, I’m really feeling sad….I don’t know what is wrong….instead of drinking, doing drugs, gambling, buying a new car, investing in viagra or chasing that new 27 year old child at work, I’m going to make an appointment with my doctor to see what is wrong with me so I can be happy in our marriage again…”
What if Lost Husbands Stopped Searching Outside…?
Life would be so different, that’s for sure!
But that’s not the case. And until the battle of figuring out this Midlife Crisis settles down, life will stay in a limbo pattern until you can break free to let him be.
Then…and only then….will you be free enough that the energy bonds that he feels pin and strangle him down, will be gone…and this new freedom feels odd and lonely…and just enough to remind him of what he is about to loose. His Home. And if you do things just right, that’s where he will go. Home. To you.