In the words of good mommies everywhere, “If you have too much cake, dear….you’re going to get sick…”
Even though I have created several videos about this Cake Eating on my video program, the wives I coach repeatedly say, “He’s cake eating and that’s just not allowed!”
You know the phrase, “Having your cake and eating it too”??
When a married man (or woman) in Midlife Crisis has a spouse and then also has a girlfriend or boy-toy and yet their spouse is in the dark about their affair, they are double dipping or cake eating. I.E. Dinning at one home with cake and then having cake at another. And maybe, in a few cases, having even more cake at one more “other”.
We all know…you can’t eat cake every night. Well, you can…but if you do, the side effect of eating too much cake is you get FAT! But the worse part (haha, or best part…) depending on what side you are on, is that the cake eater, over time, begins to look like crap. Cause that’s what happens when you lie or behave badly in this world. When you lie to your spouse or your kids or your friends or you work….forget the cake, lies make you flat out butt ass ugly.
I often point out to the wives I coach how much they continue to get prettier and more beautiful every day. That’s the side effect of staying “clean,” honest, doing the right thing and walking straight. You have no internal struggles or stress. It’s almost like goodness becomes you and your face will literally begin to glow like an angel.
If your husband just recently left the family or you just discovered your wife is having an affair with your pool boy and you believe him/her to be in an MLC aka Midlife crisis, take note of how their face or skin has changed.
They don’t look as good as they once did, do they? Take note! That’s karma. I’ve noticed when you hurt people, you lose solid ground of sane mental security and have trouble with every day tasks.
This is the part of MLC that fascinates me. Because, think about it, would YOU date someone with these characteristics? Like if you met your spouse right now, would you even want to date them? HAHA! Doubtful right?! Which is why Cake Eaters choose women/men affair partners who are of lower value than they are. Because they are easy. Stupid. These types of people won’t complain or demand much of their time as they are not secure with who they are either. Bottom line: your Midlife Crisis spouse doesn’t care if this affair person was a fish, it just feels good and is a huge ego boost for any man/woman in Midlife crisis.
Because suddenly someone (this new person or fish) thinks they are awesome. And that “FEELS GOOD!” (Almost like a drug!) and you want to feel that feeling more and more. Chances are your Cake Eating spouse doesn’t even know much about this new person/fish…except one thing: this new person thinks they are awesome and that’s all they care about! So they jump!
Bummer is they have no idea how many others they hurt just by their need to fill full.
Example of Cake Cating:
Husband comes home and eats with wife and kids. Yum! (be kind❤️) Then he goes to the girlfriend’s house for the night and then stays or goes back to his place or home with the wife. The next he goes back to work and his strange life repeats. He comes home to hang with the wife and kids, then goes back to the girlfriends house and does it just keeps going.
Many of us assume what this whole article is about: “he’s having his cake and eating it too!”
And Yes. He is.
And my wives that I coach will cry out, “UGH!!! He’s having fun while I’m depressed and sad!! That’s not fair!”
No one said anything about fair. Life isn’t really fair on a human base…but it is in Karma. And you won’t ever know when Karma plays its hand. But you just need to know it’s there. Working in the background.
And no one said anything about “fun.” Maybe for a little while, in the moment…but once he goes to sleep and starts thinking about his life that he literally imploded…well….it’s not so fun anymore.
Another Cake Eating example For Perspective Change:
Imagine a store owner watching his partner steal goods off the shelf. They both know he’s doing it and yet they both know it’s wrong. The partner who is not stealing talks to the partner/thief with love and kindness and tells him that he is not a fan of stealing, but “I can’t control you, and if that’s what you need to feel better “I” can’t stop you.” Then he walks away.
Right then, after these words, what happens to the thief?
Well the first thing that goes is the thrill. It’s not fun when what you are doing doesn’t make people freak. Then over time, the thief, who knows what he is doing is wrong, begins to feel the pain of his cheating on himself and the other partner. And it eats at him like a parasite. And he becomes depressed and ugly because his soul is creating negative karma.
Does the thief learn his lesson?
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe he’ll stop, change or get better because he realizes he has more to his life than this horrible situation. Maybe he runs to another store and starts doing the same thing there?
Bottom line: It’s his choice. And that first partner can’t do anything about it. Of course he could be a dick. And be rude and mean…but then what happens? Nothing good. But if that first partner was always a good guy….why would he dare change because of one bad person who enters his life?
Maybe that’s why the thief is here on this earth? Maybe that’s why you are here on this earth? To learn to stand up to evil, not with evil but with love and care to the soul that is lost by showing him authentic unconditional love.
So..back to you and this Cake Eating issue…
If Life is 10% what happens and 90% what you do about it….then….well…what do we do about it?
You may not like my answer….but we do….
We don’t control him. We can’t change him.
We pop some popcorn and we find a comfy spot and we watch.
Truth is, you know what will happen. I just told you…above.
He will get fat…ugly and his insides will destroy him from the bottom up.
All because he chose to do what he’s doing.
I know it’s annoying and how could he do this to you and the kids? But he is NOT thinking about you right now. Or the kids. And he is not doing this to you. He’s doing this to himself. Because he has only ONE GOAL: Self fulfilling anything. Me. Me. Me. He needs to do this right now.
Give him time and space and if you need help – I’m pretty good at this – Reach out to me – I’m here!