Dear Mistress Of A Married Man

Dear Mistress Of A Married Man,

Think twice.  Think twice before you leap and begin destroying lives.  Mostly…your own.

If you are a woman even thinking of starting a relationship with a married man, take a good look… at yourself. Do you want to be a mistress?

Who are you…

What are you…

What are your values?

Behind that man you want…is a woman.  A good woman.  A woman, like you, who married a man who, instead of turning to her (his partner) and dealing with whatever is challenging him at the time, he chose to seek (what he believes is best) ‘therapeutic’ options elsewhere.

With you….

Another woman…a mistress…

Because you (the mistress) are the ones who will say yes.  To everything.  To comfort, ease, love, sex.  Without asking, expecting or demanding anything in return.  You (the mistress) are the easy one.  The one that will make him feel like a man because he doesn’t share a home, kids or bills with you.  To him you are an escape from reality.  A savior.  A ticket to youth and freedom of responsibility.

It’s so much easier to be with you.  Relaxed.  Fun.  Adventure.

No stress.  No trash to take out.  No crap to get done.  Pure fun.  Romance.  Love.

Just like how it once was…with his wife.  The person he had so much fun and freedom with that he had to marry her.  And maybe even have children.

But now…?
He forgot.
That marriage was a mistake.  It’s too hard. Too stressful.  Not easy.

New thoughts emerge.  He now believes was never in love with his wife.  He didn’t know what love is/was.  Till now.  Till you.  You, this new adventure girl, you are his soul mate.

A woman who swooped in from nowhere and will now be the band-aid to a man who makes you feel so important, so loved.

Yet you barely know.


mistress of a married manNot today…or next month…or even next year…or even in two years.  Maybe three years?  You will become like his wife; just a woman…to do life with.  To share a home, a bed, a life.  Till he sees you in the same way he saw her.

And his ex?  He will begin to miss her.  The familiar, the mother of his children.  The woman with whom he shared God’s children.

Because no matter how much you love him, you will never compete with the bond he will always share with his old family…his ex wife and their children.

So if you are considering jumping into a relationship with a man who already has one but is sad and disappointed in how it’s going.  Run.  Hide.  Move on.  It’s a crappy choice to start an affair with a married man.  Would you want a woman to do it to you?

Would you want another woman to bed down with a man you had a relationship with?

Don’t do it.

Why start a life with someone from chaos?

Find a man/woman who begins a new life with you from truth.  From truth.  Without deceit and without lies.

When I was 22 years old, an older married man I worked with invited me to a Bulls Game. FLOOR seats!  I lived in Chicago.  He told me to bring a friend and that they’d pick us up in a limo.  YAH!  My friend, Shelly and I were elated.   From the moment I climbed into the fancy new limo, my co-worker flooded me with attention and continually complained about his wife.  He took every opportunity to woo me, flirt and even tried to put his arm around me.  I was horrified.  Not because I didn’t like him, but because I knew he had a wife who didn’t know he was behaving this way with me. Another woman.  Even at the age of 22, I was sure if she knew what he was trying to do, she would not be happy.  At one point he tried to kiss me and I pulled back and told him what I thought of his behavior.  Reminding him that he was a married man…he told me, “Our marriage isn’t working out…I’m not happy.”  I told him, “Why is that her fault?”

I remember him walking away, not mad, but completely embarrassed. How was I so stupid to think this co-worker invited my friend and I out to just have fun?  Dumb of me.  Of course he wanted more.  I didn’t get it.  But I did get that I was NOT interested in ever being with a man/husband who would do this to their wife.

I felt good. Confident.  I did the right thing.

It was then I looked up to see a tall man walk up to the bar next to me.  It was Michael Jordan.  Earlier my married friend had bought my friend, Shelly and I two Chicago Bulls caps and I immediately asked Mr. Jordan to sign my hat.  Mr Jordan had a pen and I bent my head down and he scribbled away.  Over the years that hat has moved with my husband and I all across the world.  Today, when I look at it now, I’m reminded of the decision I made to do the right thing.

Was that Karma working in a positive way?  Did saying no to a sin, lead me into the hope that good still trumps evil?

I don’t know…but I do wonder if my old co-worker got his head on properly enough to stay with his wife?  Or did he find another girl willing to have an affair with him?

I guess the only thing that matters and the only thing I can control is my choice. What I decided to do with my life.

Thankfully I liked myself enough and had respect for myself as well as that unsuspecting wife of that man to do the right thing and stay away.

Every woman I know who has had an affair with a married man has been full of regret.  The time invested with someone who has someone else…is endless.  Life is short. Do you really want to be the 2nd option for someone when you can be the first with someone else? And then forever be known as the mistress to anyone who knows that current family?  To the kids of that marriage you will be known as the mistress.  To the family of your new lover you will also be known as the mistress.  Is that what you want?

Imagine if every woman respected the wife behind the married prowling man that wants to cheat?  Imagine if every one who reads this article right now, who had the option, said NO.

How different would our world be?

Be the change.

If he’s married.  Run..don’t walk.

Even if he claims he’s unhappy….don’t touch, don’t even look… until he is fully divorced.  Otherwise…your life is no longer yours.  You’ve opened the door to Karma.  And when you work against her…Karma is a real bitch.  Watch a video on Karma. Click here.

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