Linda was a funny black woman with a smile so big it almost spelled “happy.”
She and I met on a sunny day in her backyard. Her husband was walking around doing odd little things and as she and I spoke quietly – He never strayed too far from his wife of 38 years – adding in a word or two whenever he felt she would state something incorrectly.
Linda grew up not too far from where we were at that moment in a small home with 7 other brothers and sisters. Mom and dad were happy…most of the time.
“Daddy was a very good looking man….all the women noticed him,” Linda stated. “Daddy was tall, confident and smiled all the time. He worked for the post office…inside behind the counter. Mama stayed home taking care of all of us.”
Linda shared it was at about 24 years married the couple started to have issues. Well Dad did. He was distant and staying out late. Linda’s mom was not pleased and she was sure to let him know about it.
Then her baby sister got sick. Undiagnosed sickle cell anemia. Her sister was dying in intensive care and by the time they solved what was wrong with her it was too late. She died. Her sister was only 16.
Linda remembers home turning into a sad cold place. And her mom almost falling apart. Her dad was gone more and more and then one day, a friend of Linda’s was talking with another woman about that woman’s daughter. She was telling her that her daughter was having a baby with a wonderful man.
A good kind man with a job at the post office.
What’s his name?
Oddly enough when this woman said the name of the man, Linda’s friend wondered, “Well that’s weird, he has the same name as my friends dad who also worked at the post office.”
It took a mere 2 seconds for both them to wonder if there can be 2 men with the same name working at the same location or do we have a problem Houston?
Yep. Big problem.
Dad didn’t face too many people and keeping his head buried he ran off with his Horserace.
Linda’s mom and rest of the kids cut him off.
Overtime Linda says they all started to have odd relations with him bit by bit but that lady….his horserace….she thought she was going to be coming into all our lives and getting the house and just replacing my mom and be living the good life.
But that’s not what happened.
They had two kids real quick. And he went straight downhill. He ended up having a stroke & diabetes. And his new wife calls him (outloud to others and to his face), “That man is used goods!” “You an Old man now! I don’t want him!”
Their 2 kids…from what Linda says the mother was not the best and their daughter (Linda’s 1/2 sister) was molested by a son from Horseface’s previous marriage to some other guy. And the son they had dealt with drug issues his whole life.
These poor kids were so innocent- just born into a mess.
As Linda states it again: After dad left….he went straight down a spiral and never recovered. Horseface thought she had struck gold and it turns out – she was wrong.
Which comes the part we all can reflect back on the choices everyone made…..
Lindas Mom? You all know how hard it is to stand. Although iIt is hell to stand for a husband who has a baby with horserace. Because now horserace may as well be called “sister” cause there she will be – forever. Cause Dad has to see this kid. This other person in the world who will now forever be in your life. Forever. And while you want to hate it – you can’t. Because the kid is innocent. This is NOT their fault. And this kid will need love from a normal sane person….and (hahaha) sometimes, the wife from the cheating husband is the best option this new kid has to having a normal life.
Years ago I said to my MLC with fear and slow methodical words, “hey, be really careful…she could get pregnant.”
He stared at me with the black empty eyes and was silent for a few seconds before saying it in wonder, “Yeah….that would be bad.”
Inside I wanted to scream, reach out and wrap my two hands on his neck and squeeze till he gurgled in the same pain I was feeling. But in reality, I knew (as much as I wanted him to hurt) I am not able. That’s why I had never thought of cheating….the chance of causing that much pain to another person is beyond what I am capable of.
Bottom line on this story?
It never ends good for the husband that leaves the family and his wife throws away the key to his patriarchy. Lindas dad died alone as a single miserable sickly man. Lindas’ mom died recently. And while Linda’s mom would have never admitted she thought she should have stayed calmer and not kicked her husband to the curb, she never admitted it. But Linda’s Dad died…because he tried to come home a few times. Linda’s Mom slammed the door. “NO WAY IN HELL.”
I know you are mad and angry at him. However there is nothing those two things can do to help you bring him home, fix him or fix you. So let it go….
We are not the judge or jury for our hubby. They have free will to screw up their life however they wish. NMP. (Not My Problem). It IS your problem when you are a crappy wife or not living up to the job you told him, your future kids and all your family and friends that came to the wedding, that you’d be doing, even if things went “bad.”
Cause yeah….this is bad.
You say, “Whoa….they never said it would be THIS bad….I didn’t sign up for a “THIS” bad.”
But you did.
So if you want him home – you are in the right place!!! I have a a great track record to bringing him home!! But I can only show you – teach you – coach you. YOU have to do the real work at home.
So if you are a wimp…..or un-coachable, do not call me.
Right now you just suck it up and stay on this site. Read everything. Take notes and understand how to let him go and get yourself in good standing so you can live well! And join my videos!!! That’s the best way to learn everything you need to do, say and think right now! Click here for VIDEOS!! Stay straight and we can get him home!!
And if you need me – reach out!
I’m here for you! I created this whole site for YOU!!