What happens in a midlife crisis when a daughter is old enough to not only know what is happening but offers to help her mom get her husband home?
If your daughter is old enough (like 18 plus) to help you. Or give you tidbits on what dad is doing or where he is going or whatever he has planned, take the help.
But if she is younger and wants to help…be careful. This is not her game. As much as you want her to love her dad and hurt him the way he hurt her and you, don’t fall for the low scum bait because it will come back to you and trust me, you don’t want the bad karma.
And let’s be honest…this all works in your favor anyway.
I have several wives who have husbands in affairs and will ask their wives, “Are you okay that I bring my “friend” out with the kids on my night?”
The answer to this request is not freak out-ish, “Are you fucking high!?” but a calm, “Hmmmm….you have every right to introduce the kids to anyone you like, however, I feel comfortable if when it’s your time to be with our kids, do you think you can just be with them? They miss you so much and are always just so excited to see you!”
See the difference? The first “fuck you” one is so much more fun and satisfying, however, the 2nd one is more along the straight line and how you’d want to be treated.
Here is the other thing to take note of: Young boys & girls do not what Daddy running off or frolicking with another random woman who is not their mom. Period. If dad claims his “friend” requested to meet his kids, well, then that’s tough, isn’t it? This “friend” should have considered this all before she took up with a guy who has kids..AND A WIFE.
If dad claims the KIDS want to meet his “friend”? Laugh out loud. Cause you know that’s not true. The bigger question is, “How do the kids know there even IS a “friend” and why is he talking about anyone that has nothing to do with his own kids. Cause his kids, your kids, don’t give a flying hairball about any of his friends! They never did. Perfect example? My kids love me to death and they love my husband the same, they don’t care about ANY of our friends. Period! Get it?
All your kids need is for their dad to be their hero and for him to show them how a man behaves when he puts his family at risk of imploding.
When Dad wanders off with another woman (not mom), his daughter is in severe danger of this happening to her in her own marriage or divorcing in her own marriage. That’s how they learn. And they learn, when dad runs away so easily, that this is just normal.
It also puts stress and chaos into a young girl’s life, when they should ONLY be worried or interested in school, boys and becoming the best version of themselves they can be.
Same with boys. When Dad is gone, off with some other woman he feels will make him happy, boys are forced to learn the things Dad would have taught them all on their own. Or from their friends. Or from their friends’ dads.
It’s even harder to do this when you add in the worry of what dad is out there doing and how hurt Mom is from everything Dad is doing.
The hurt, the stress, and chaos to a small single family?
Is it really worth it Dad?