My Husband Left Me and Came Back: Kim’s Story

Kim came to me in February 2022.

They’d been married 16 years, and yet he suddenly wanted to leave their marriage.

She was 59, he was 63.

What happened???

Why?  Why does a man suddenly want to change his life around at the age of 63? With only 10 to 20 years left of his life he’s going to completely shift his entire world for something new?

Recently I was talking to a man who’s been married 59 years. He was 82. I asked him what is life was like and he had an absolutely incredible work life. 

Perhaps the person can have an incredible work life if they are not constantly distracted changing marital partners? And knowing at the end of the day when you go home, that life will stay safe and sound.

Because if you’re an adult and reading this right now, you will agree with me that life is freaking hard. Do we really want to add another layer of hardship to our life by getting rid of a long partner and having to face life alone for a bit as we search for a new partner? Really? Do you really think there is  someone out there that is way better than what you had before? Are you that incredible perfect that your partner was truly the only problem you had?  Or did you give up trying to understand and figure out life with that other person?

Ususally it’s the latter.  “I’m tired…” are the words I hear from wives having hope for their lost absent husband.  

I agree…”Yes…it’s not an easy path…”

Nor is bailing and heading out for new pastures.  That has its own challenges.  As all new pastures are unknown. And although it looks nice and green the outside, it’s not going to be until years down the road that you finally get to see this green grass has brown roots. And those brown roots may be way worse than the roots you had with your first spouse.  Maybe 10 years down the line you just might say, “perhaps I should’ve given my X a little bit more time.”  

Maybe?  Maybe not…?

Who the hell knows. From childhood trauma to work issues to not loving yourself to having a death of a parent many things go wrong inside of the head of the person you’re living and sleeping right next to.

And then suddenly they are a stranger.

Wanting a different life, with a different person, far away from you.

Here is a story of a woman who had her husband leave her and then came back. She survived her husband’s midlife crisis…and it paid off: