There are good days, great days and crappy ones. The crappy ones are when the below feels so good to read and put to use in your mind. Don’t forget that on the good days to do them too…so then when the bad days arise, they are not so bad.
His leaving the family is nothing that you ever get over, however as each day passes and you come to some sort of “understanding” of MLC or midlife crisis to the point where you truly say, “He’s lost his way and I can’t help him….this is bigger than me…”
When I was in your shoes, if I saw a piece on MLC or midlife crisis help, if I saw anything about God or the Bible, I’d roll my eyes thinking, “WHERE IS MY HELP!!!” Ha…what an idiot I was. That was the help I sought. I just didn’t know it back then.
Which is why I do not put verses from the Bible front and center, because many people aren’t religious and while I am a believer (you’d be a believer too if you saw and heard all the stuff I get to hear! Miracles happen every single day!!) But keeping bible verses from my posts is common for me as I do not want to scare anyone, and as much as I grasp onto a good reading/quote, I don’t read the Bible regularly, but fantasize that one day I will start at the first page and read every single night. Currently there are 19 books stacked like pancakes next to my bed…waiting to be read. I am not giving up. One day…
Here is what a woman /wife sent me the other day. I shared parts of it with my wives on my group class last Tuesday and I’m posting it here now. I did not write this…but I edited it because I’m a ridiculous writer and lover of words, how they flow and make others feel. So I did tweak it a bit! And I do not know where I came from either…so giving credit is not possible unless someone shares with me and then I will add it below!
Lord, do not forsake me; do not be far from me, my God.
Come quickly to help me, my Lord and my Savior. (Psalm 38:21-22)
Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your circumstances? Is your mind racing? Do you find yourself staring constantly stuck in an attempt to find a solution to your MLC husband? Do you ever wonder if God really meant, “What God has brought together, let no man separate”? Maybe he was talking about others marriages and not yours?
Normally I want to edit it, everything!! But I can’t cause I’m not sure what is from the Bible and what is written by the person creating the devotion. So I’m not adding anything….
Here is the Prodigal Devotion:
During my prodigal days, while we were divorced, I heard a pastor make a sermon statement that has stuck with me: “If you were able to see the spiritual battle that is taking place all around you, it would scare you to death.”
My spiritual eyes were not yet opened, so I could not fully understand what that respected man of God was saying, but nevertheless, I remembered.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,
but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and
against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12
Since standing with God for marriage restoration is a spiritual battle, you may not recognize the back and forth of Satan’s ways as God’s will is being performed. I want to share with you some of the ways that you can know something is happening in the heavenly realms.
It is not necessary for all signs to be seen by you in order for your spouse to be brought home, nor will these signs happen in any specific order. You may even see your prodigal coming up the walk before you see any of these signs or ways below. Most likely a few or many of these things will be happening without your knowledge or consent, as God knows what he is doing!
Here is How the Devil Works to Convince you to give up:
• You feel like giving up. The enemy is excellent at making you think nothing is happening and nothing will ever, ever (did I say ever?) change.
• You start to sense the massive increased burden for your prodigal’s soul is right at hand. Truly, the restoration of your marriage does not seem nearly as important as where your beloved will spend eternity.
• The Lord burdens you to pray for your husband or wife at the strangest times. For some people, God awakens you in the middle of the night to pray. You wake up to pee and have a thought…? Well….grab paper and pen and take notes! This direct message is worthy of your time!
• Satan sends a counterfeit into your life. Just when things are the bleakest, Mr. Right or Miss Perfect arrives. Some standers make the mistake of thinking, “This must be of God because we are so perfectly suited for each other.” Counterfeits always look better than the real thing. The Devil is good at this. Don’t bite.
• People are constantly reminding you about your mate’s free will and how you have grounds for divorce. Right. The first is true, he has free will to screw up his life how he wants. Yes. The 2nd? Well, of course anything is grounds for divorce if you want that in your life. Otherwise, if you don’t want it and are working with me, bag the second as a thing you don’t want and stay straight on what you DO want!
• People tell you God wants you to be “happy.” HAHAHA!!! The things we make up to bend the rules to give us what we want. The truth? God is a lot more concerned about your holiness than He is about your happiness. He knows when you find him (God) and live with him in you, you WILL be happy! He also cares about your mate’s lost condition. And if you pay attention, you will get lots of answers!
• You can see no way out of specific circumstances, such as financial problems, being alone forever. Remember, God works best when nothing else will!
• You are tempted to take off your wedding ring. AHHHH! Don’t!!! If you need encouragement, set up time to talk with me! ❤️❤️
• You find Scripture that seems to have been written just for you. The Word speaks to your heart and to your needs. Boom!
• Some of the actions of your prodigal spouse are unexplainable. For example, I repeatedly asked Charlyne to stop praying for me. I just knew the conviction that I was under came as a result of her prayers.
• The enemy can even use your family members to dissuade you when the spiritual battle is the hottest. An older teen may say, “Dad doesn’t want you any or Mom!” or “If he/she is allowed back, I am going to move out!” Or your supportive parents may become dead set against restoration. Do not allow this to discourage you. Over the years, I have SEEN God restoring family relationships as well as marriages. Why can’t this be you!?
• You partner hates church and you mistakenly begin to view your local church as a hindrance to your marriage restoration. Scared that if, “If anyone says anything about God, he will run again.” NEVER be afraid of Gods word. Satan may give you fear over how your returned prodigal would fit in. Your pastor may suddenly come out against marriage restoration. The returned spouse going to church and putting back together their church relationship is one of the many areas that God can and will does heal for restoring families. Right now, you need the love and support of a church family. So GO!!!
• Your Prayer partner moves suddenly. The thought may be, “God wants me to pray alone and struggle…” God doesn’t want you to struggle, he wants you to trust him. No one else. Just him. You only need YOUR own self to pray! Groups are wonderful, but if you’ve only prayed in a group, lets’ be sure you get the memo: Prayer alone works just as good! Do it!
• Major changes in your prodigal life are happening and fast! For some, this is a loss of a job, a death of a parent, relocation of a home or career, all which creates a false belief that restoration is impossible.
• You are tempted to make a major change in your own life. Like removing your ring, reclaiming your maiden name, throwing a party without some of his relatives, changing the door locks on your home for no reason “because you are worried…”? Whatever you are considering doing, don’t. All it says to your prodigal spouse: “It’s over!”
• You sense a certain uneasiness in your spirit. Where you had once started growing in the Lord as a stander, you now feel something indescribable in your life. Some people confuse God wanting them to intensify their stand with Him, with God wanting them to give up on their stand for a healed home. Don’t give up!
• You start to believe you can and will forgive your prodigal spouse, even to the extent that you feel bad for him, for how deceived they are by the devil, and for the situation they are in.
• Your prodigal makes false starts toward home or toward family events, and then just as suddenly withdraws or backs out. The devil is not ready to give up on your spouse, so don’t you go getting tired! Keep focused!! This is spiritual warfare!! You must win!
Do you get it? Some of these signs are negative, and some are positive. Together, they allow you to catch a glimpse of the battle that is raging in the heavens. A battle played on in front of you, in your home and in front of your whole family. How did you get to be this lucky??? 😂
This battle is for much more than your marriage. It is for your prodigal’s eternal soul, and for future generations of your family! Because if a Divorce persists, the devil has won and the generational curse will continue for years and years!
The number one mistake that men and women praying for marriage restoration make, is attempting to do spiritual battle with earthly weapons, based on earthly reasoning. HAHA!!! Let’s understand that spiritual battles, such as this very one you are in, can be ONLY won by using spiritual weapons.
Using the courts instead of compassion,
Seeking revenge instead of restoration.
Heap guilt on the absent spouse instead of grace.
Instead of covering their prodigal’s nakedness and shame, they want to broadcast it.
Walking with Jesus, we become better. Walking in the world’s eye-for-an-eye way, we only become bitter.
I feel blessed and honored to walk with many of you on this spiritual journey. Somewhere for all of you, the spiritual lights WILL come on, and then you realize, you are in a spiritual battle. Stay focused on the war against the enemy, and not against their spouse. They are NOT the same!! They may have their ups and downs, but overall, a steady growth in the things of God is noted until their prodigal comes home to both them and to their Lord.
May you stand with patience, love and blessings. xo
How Can I Help You...Right NOW?!
What to do when they Leave!
How to get them Home!
TWO Group Coaching Classes a month!
AND access to me!
(A MUST for every wife or husband facing a spouse in Midlife Crisisl!)
Help, Advice, Support!
So you feel Strong & Confident
That what you are doing will work!
Your Secret Weapon!
Direct Personal Guidance to help you Navigate the chaos of his Midlife Crisis!
(Wives I coach LOVE this!)