Below is an email that was sent by a man to a Support Group. Another woman on the same support group copied this letter and added it into a response to another letter…which is how I got it…
Meaning…tonight one of my wives shared this with me and I’m now sharing it here….so in essence I can’t “thank” or “give credit” to where it originated from. Which in the case of MLC, most people would rather stay anonymous.
My feelings? ANYTHING I can do (post) to help educate you on what to do and how is why I exist.
And read this letter…super cool!
But keep in mind there are TWO things I disagree on:
- a) I do not believe you pack up his stuff and move it anywhere. LEAVE it. It’s a door to come back quickly and smoothly. b) Let HIM move his own stuff. Not you. This is not your duty to do his work. Plus if he is weak and insecure – he will feel “she doesn’t want me…” and since you are married, this is NOT what we want him to believe. We do want him to believe you are doing great and all is good. But when you pack him up and move him out – it says more than we want him to feel. It’s like a move that pushes him farther. And we don’t want to ‘push him away.” We want to bring him closer. Not touching his crap…at all – is a “nothing” – no one can read or misread anything into your behavior because there isn’t any.
- “I’m sorry you feel that way…” is not an apology. It’s almost like an instigator to push him to be angrier. Don’t say that phrase ever. If they are combative…you say, “I can see that bothers you…” Or “Hmmm…” Do not argue or engage.
What I DO agree with:
Look good – yes!
Mystery – yes!
Fun with friends – yes!
Live life fully – yes!
No reactions – yes!!
No combative – yes!!
GREAT LETTER THOUGH!!! ENJOY!!