Hope. How to Love a man who is not himself. AKA – ass, dick, weirdo, stranger, alien,
That’s what I provide here on TheWifeExpert.com, aka the land of the surviving the midlife crisis affair mess…
The marriage help I provides one theme:HOPE!
HOPE IN AN EMAIL
This morning I received a letter from a woman I just started working with about 30 days ago. Her husband found a horserace and has dove in. While I don’t normally post letters, I do post maybe one email out of 1,000. (I said “Letter”? Ha…I never get snail mail – but if you send, I’d love that too! AND a Christmas card! Please add me to your Christmas list! I’d love to get a REAL photo from you! Laurie McDermott 1311 5th street, manhattan beach ca 90266). I’m going to post hers because on this day, you clicking here – we need hope. And Oh! I’m starting a radio thing. And it’s been REALLY hard to find people to talk on camera about their personal marriage troubles. (And as soon as I get the first one done -I will send it out and as you watch it and you will see him struggle/pause with my questions. It was my first one so I didn’t even tell him what I do! I chose him because he was married for so long and would be willing to just come on and talk! He’s a life coach so It’s good!)
Back to the letter. The wife below wrote an email that could have been written by ANYONE. Her hubby found a horseface that has made him feel good and, quite commonly, the pull to that “thing” (aka affair) is magnetic. To keep her privacy I did change many personal details, but other than that, her letter is all her. 100% And after questioning me in her doubt to stay or go, I held strong in disagreement.
I think you know me by now, I’m EXTREMELY honest with wives who call me and ask my opinion. I’ve gone to a 1 out of 10 rating. 10 means I 100% feel he’s coming home. But do you know what I base my score on most? YOU!!! Your coach-ability. Some women are not coachable. And, oh boy, do I force myself to not give up on a wife! However, like we can’t change our hubby, I can’t change you. I can’t get into your head and make you see what I’m asking you do to will work. And if you aren’t going to do the work, ie, change a few things and follow what I teach, really and truly be open to understand, to learn, to listen, to change to do/follow exactly what I teach you to say, it will not work. But if you do…after practice, it feels so easy! Just say yes, and believe me, and trust me!
I’ve done my research and I have a good feeling when a man will come back or not and I will tell a wife to run if I think that is best for her. She can stay, but you pay me to be honest and to hold your hand and guide him to come home, and if I don’t think that will happen, I refuse to waste your money and my time. I want successes!! I want to help you to success! I want happy wives living happily with their imperfect men who love and adore you! Life is not perfect. People are not perfect. We love, because we choose to love. And we must not waffle.
The woman below is so kind to have sent me the following. She now sees SHE has the power inside her to LOVE him anyway.
This Wife could be any one of you!
Here is what she sent:
I wanted to share my “planting a seed” success story after watching your video on hugs and learning so much from you! It worked! 🙂 I was able to soften my MLC husband.
I got very brave and inspired and decided to give my husband a hug when he was dropping off our 8 yr old son after practice. (Not sure if you remember from my email but he moved out 3 months ago and has lived in a hotel and now an airbnb total bachelor pad rental-ughhh.) My husband hasn’t wanted to even step one foot in our house since he left more less have any physical contact with me like a hug. He only comes by to pick up and drop off our son.
So to his surprise yesterday when he came to the door and dropped off our son I went in for a hug. After I hugged him he looked at me like I was crazy-lol.Then I said, “I feel you’re important in my life, and I’m grateful for you and wanted to show you.” His mouth dropped wide open and it looked like the circuit board in his brain began to overheat. Then he said nicely, “thank you for that.”
After he finished saying goodbye to my son, I walked him outside and hugged my husband again (for goodbye). This time I said what you said to say in your “Hug” video about exactly how to hug.
He is tall (6’3”) but I used your words and still went in for the two arm under hug. Guess what? He fully hugged me back for about 8 seconds! He also had tears in his eyes. Then he said, “that was great” and asked if he could call me that evening! 🙂 Yay!
Your hug suggestion opened the door for communication again! Thank you! 🙂
He called me. He said he appreciated how kind I was was but is leery of this new super kind person I’m becoming because he said 2 weeks ago I was not like this. LOL!!! Just like you said he would!! He started to turn a little salty and test me to see if I was indeed this nice-kind-forgiving-understanding new person. He said several things to push my buttons during but I was super kind and didn’t fall any. Right after he said he was leery of if “the new me” would stick…I delivered an academy award winning apology after watching all of your apology videos. His brain was thrown for a loop! He said he’s happy I’m happy and told me he is not happy and wishes he was.
When he tried to press my buttons he went to extremes even asking to share in my new job benefits. Still I kept my cool and didn’t fall for it and just said we’ll see.
We ended the call pleasantly with no arguing just with me being extremely kind. I feel it planted a nice little seed!! The call and apology seemed to fully soften him towards me. Yay! Later when my son called to say goodnight, I could see he was at his air bnb and not out at a bar! Another yay!
It’s amazing how you really are an expert and know how most men are going to react during MLC even exactly when they turn mean to try and test the new, amazing, kind, woman you’ve become.
I don’t know what I would do without finding you and subscribing. I’ve been watching them non-stop! 🙂
You are an inspiration yourself and soooo strong for surviving your’s husbands MLC and coming out the otherwise thriving and helping others! 🙂 Hugs work! I will hug him when he picks up my son again tomorrow.
Take care and god bless,
Do you SEE? Men are ALL the same. They are HUMAN. If you are struggling. Stop struggling! What are you doing???? Join my videos and let me walk with you!
TRUST me. Follow my guidance! And do what I say. You have 0 to lose!
Let’s get your marriage back on track. ❤️❤️. xoxo