It still happens.
Like about 1 hour ago when I was standing at the entrance of the Wilson Hotel in Big Sky Montana and noticed an older woman sitting on a luggage cart.
She had white/yellow hair, way older than what I would expect to be a ‘skier.” Yet there she sat at 8am, coffee in hand, dressed for the slopes, while her “man” walked around trying to locate something he lost.
My own husband, in-laws and kids were busy out in the parking lot loading adventure items into the truck…so I took the opportunity. Surely she had a story.
“Yes…that’s my new guy!”
“Were you married before?”
“Oh yah!” she said with a smile and a nod.
“He was a doc and so am I, he found a younger nurse lady and off they went!”
“Wait…what did you do? Did you let him be for awhile?”
“HELL NO!” she crackled with a huge smile. “Nope! He wanted me to just sit there and almost wait for him…and I’m like that’s not me! I’m not sitting around waiting for you while you run off and have an affair! That’s not me! Even when I filed for divorce, he was confused. ‘I don’t want a divorce’ (she mocked him in a sullen sappy voice) well I do! Bye! It was hard on my kids but I wasn’t having any of this!”
She continued, “Funny thing? After 4 years, and 1 kid, she left him! She was a gold digger. He was a mess. Then she married some other guy and ruined his life too. He soon died after that.”
“Oh no… he was miserable and alone after that girl left him for about 10 to 12 years….then he met someone else finally.”
I was ready for my question, “Wait…did he ever try and come back to you?”
She laughed. “No…he knew I wouldn’t take him back. I was done.”
“Are you friends now?”
“Oh yeah….we still talk…”
“Is he happy?”
She laughed again…”I don’t think he’ll ever be happy. But I am.”
“Things going good with this new guy?”
“Great! No regrets!”
Just then I heard a honk and some yelling. I looked up and the caravan of cars was all parked at the front entrance staring at me waiting for me to join them.
“Oh! I have to go! It was so nice meeting you…thank you so much for sharing your story with me.”
She waved as if her story was one in a million and said, “Best revenge? Live happy.”
I stopped and shouted, “Hell yah!”
She laughed and stood up to go to her new man.
The doors to the Wilson Hotel opened with a chilly wind, and I looked back to her as I shouted one more time, “HELL YEAH!”
Live happy….with him…or without him….that’s a CHOICE.
Happiness is a choice.
Yours! All yours. Whether you wait or bail. You have choices. To be mean or bitchy, calm or compassionate. All up to you.
It doesn’t matter where he is or what he is doing – learn to love you and learn to live happy in your own skin. It’s hard. I’m not going to fluff it. You had a life with him and it shifted. It emploded. And now you just have to start over???? Yes. It’s never like you are sitting around waiting for him. You are living your life to the best you can, being the best you can, growing and learning how to be the best you.
Don’t wait. It’s time to choose happy.