NOW!!  Find ways to be happy with where you are RIGHT now!  You will never get this time back!  You alone can change your marriage to be one of happy and healthy.  However – You must be in the right state of mind!  So do yoga, do fun adventures with your kids, cook at home with your kids, set up weekend travel adventures with your kids, teach them life lessons that you know, go out with a friend or two, join a book club, have a small gathering at your home!  Your marriage set aside right now and doing what you can (one step at a time) to keep you sane and give you mental peace is what will get you through this faster and more intact.