To know and understand what he is really thinking….let’s start with what YOU think and say:
He’s lost his mind.
He has mental issues.
He’s not the same.
He’s doing things opposite.
This is not who he is.
Yes. That is exactly what we say about a man (or woman) in MLC.
What do they say? What are they thinking inside?
The experience is different for each of them, however when you dissect each and every one of them, it’s the same. Our minds are like computers and the truth and bull shit we make up about what we want or what we don’t want is in full force.
The fog, the disbelief, the filing system they create against you as their biggest problem in life is real. And if you want to stay married when they are out of this mess, then be sure to take action to keep yourself open – keep living your life – but stay open. AND do all that I teach on here and you have the best shot at bringing your husband home. (If you aren’t on my videos yet – good lord, what are you doing??? Get on them!! Worth every penny – cause I can’t discuss everything here. I just can’t. Way too personal. Click HERE!)
The Fog is real.
When I find someone who has been through the crisis and is able to talk about their experience, it’s like talking to a war veteran. They know it was really, really difficult and their vision of some awful parts is blocked.
Yet, unlike most war men, men who have been in MLC, do not like to share. If you EVER know of anyone who has been through MLC and is willing to do a 100% private interview over the phone, without names, let me know. While I will never write their story unless they say okay (they think they are so unique and the shame and fear getting of discovered scares them into silence) I’m always here to listen and use their story as more data to what I already know and teach.
Men in midlife crises hit a place in their life (based on life recent happenings)…age…death…trauma…job loss….where they hit a wall of reality. Life. It’s hard. It’s complicated. Death is inevitable. This goes round and round in their head. They can’t see a solution. They can’t see a way out. It’s like they are in a black hole or on the rabbit wheel and it just spins and spins and spins. There is no possible vision of joy or future happiness. They feel hopeless. They feel trapped in the identity or lifestyle they are in and they feel stuck.
And all the while – you see them normal. Present. Doing things as they always did…but inside there is a storm brewing.
Their minds show them the swiftness of time passing…and passing…and their own life ending…without feeling fulfilled, happy, full. They feel desperate to find passion, joy, excitement and pleasure. Lots and lots of pleasure. Because they may suddenly feel, they have lived their life for everyone else but themselves. And now it’s time for “me!”
Yet they are trapped. They have a wife, kids, family, house, job, bills, responsibilities. Ugh.
Everything they do just feels like they are wasting more and more time. These old activities that used to be fine and normal suddenly have no purpose, no reason. It’s all just void. Empty. They truly find themselves in a life that has zero meaning. Even if they have kids, or money or things. Right now, in this moment of MLC, they are things in the way of their own happiness. If they can get rid of all of that – they will be free to redo everything in a fresh new way that brings them the pleasure they seek.
That brings on the pressure. That brews from inside. That if they don’t do something…soon…they will die. They are going to die. But if they don’t act now, they will loose any chance of happiness or pleasure or fun. So they begin to create their story.
The New “Story”
They spend hours and hours building and recreating a story of everything that you, their wife, has done to hurt them or cause them pain or block them from their ultimate dream of happiness (like that football game 27 years ago when you didn’t sit next to him and instead sat next to his best friend? You may have gotten over that and discussed it the day it happened but today, 27 years later, it’s alive and a reason for him to call you “evil” and leave you.) So that they can have enough amo to leave.
But there are moments of clarity or hope to keep you going. And sorry, but that’s all you get from a man in midlife crisis (besides me Screaming over here to encourage you to survive his midlife crisis, hang in there – walk beside him, but live your own life!!)
I have wives who tell me that their husband walked by after therapy and said, “Don’t give up on me.”
Or another wife who got a text from her hubby that said, “I do care. I want to come home. Just not now.”
Or the wife who sent me this late one night about her hubby.
He’s living outside his body?!?!?!
It’s like an alien came in and took over his controls and he was forced to step aside.
It’s insane. Truly insane.
And again – we look at him open eyes wide searching for a bit of the old hubby…
And think….Huh? He looks normal, smells normal, talks normal.
Yet, is he???
Don’t Buy Into This MLC Imposter!
Nope. Don’t buy into it. Treat this alien (AKA Devil invasion) as a parasite that is trying to kill your family.
Don’t let it. Do not let it change you into a bitch and let it eat the glue that’s holding your family together.
Don’t be a bitch, or cruel or punish him. That’s not your job and it’s a waste of time to waste an ounce of energy trying to change him. Cause you will loose. Plus that “amo” he is looking for? Be a bitch and you will hand blocks of amo to him on a silver platter!! He’ll say, “You See?! She’s awful!! That’s why I’m leaving her!!”
That is where I pray you get this! No!! Don’t fall for it!! Stand up to it. Go straight! Know what you want! Know who you are! Know what you are capable of and just keep going! Your hubby will catch up. Let him be for now.
The world today encourages immediate gratification. MLC requires tools for a long distance marathon. Do not give up. You signed up for this when you got married. Remember?? If you need help you can always and or sign up for the videos, or reach out to me TheWifeExpert @ gmail . com (take out spaces) and we can set up a time to talk to get you going straight!!
The videos are GREAT!! If you are reading this here – you need the tools. Why would you not? Try it one month!!! They work. Well…they ONLY work if you watch them – lots of women sign up and then don’t watch them! Watch! Learn! This is up to you!!
I’m here. TheWifeExpert @ gmail. com (take out spaces)
How Can I Help You...Right NOW?!
What to do when they Leave!
How to get them Home!
TWO Group Coaching Classes a month!
AND access to me!
(A MUST for every wife or husband facing a spouse in Midlife Crisisl!)
Help, Advice, Support!
So you feel Strong & Confident
That what you are doing will work!
Your Secret Weapon!
Direct Personal Guidance to help you Navigate the chaos of his Midlife Crisis!
(Wives I coach LOVE this!)