What Would Jesus Do If His Wife Cheated?

What would Jesus do? If he was married and his wife ran off with one of his other disciple buddies? Would he be mad? Pissed off? Bitter?

Would he hunt that apostle down, shoot him, cut off his balls? Or would he calmly say a prayer to wish them both safe and well, forgiving his wife and the man who took her away from him, for both of their wrongdoings?

Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Seriously? I’m supposed to forgive? And let go?? This is what we are supposed to do? It is insane. But when we say “What would Jesus do…”   The answer is not what we humans want and yet…the answer get really clear.

What Would Jesus Really Do?

Jesus was never was married. But if he was, he would probably act human-ish at first, having all the feelings of anger and revenge that I first described. Because after all, Jesus may have been God’s son, but as far as we know, he was first down here on Earth a human. But then he would talk to his dad, and since he had direct access (I am sure), and the dialogue would be swift, Jesus would understand quicker and then act in his usual ‘Jesus’ way and let it go. He would get mad first but then end up sitting to pray for them, forgive them and then move on to other more important matters like saving someone’s soul from hell.

That is when I am really glad I am NOT Jesus. Because I have an excuse! I can sit scheming in the sad muck and secretly hope the cheating spouse who is merrily walking down the street, has a piano fall on their head.

Of course. I am terrible. But I am human. And well, I am not Jesus.

And yet, and this is a “put-on-your-big-pants” function, when time passes on, I too understand. It is forgiveness. It seems crazy impossible. But it is right. Jesus could forgive like God. And if we want to be like Jesus, we need to forgive that way too.

The Promise:

When you get betrayed by the one person you have shared a life with, the person who promised to love you till one of you dies, the first thing you think about is not wishing him well. The first of many thoughts steamrolling into your brain at the same time are: How did this happen? What did I do wrong? How can I get them back? How can I destroy this thing that is stealing my partner? This stranger invader, Horsefaceᴵᴾ, who thinks they know my partner more than me, is now planning a life with my partner? Taking a spot that was mine. Um…how can I stop her? Or destroy her? Where do I even start?????

I doubt Jesus would do that. Perhaps it would not even cross his mind. It crossed mine.

See how far off I was from this Jesus role model thing?

Owning A Gun:

I always joked that I could never have a gun in my home because if anything happened that jolted me to intense hurt, I just may pull out that gun and kill someone.

Then one night, when my husband took a call from Horsefaceᴵᴾ in our own home, with my oldest child nearby, my husband instantly needed to speak with her, walking away into a closed room to talk to her privately. I went red. FIERY Red. The uncontrollable feeling of being so devastatingly crushed and so disrespected, I wanted it to stop. I wanted to hurt him. I have NEVER felt that way before. Ever. In my whole life.

It was about 1 to 3 seconds where it was all in slow motion and I can relive it right now or any time I want. It is that ingrained in my brain. I turned to the hall closet for anything to explode through that door and stop him. My body even reached for the upper shelf where my oldest son once had a plastic orange gun we bought in Utah. Imagine if there was a real gun in that closet. I am sure if there was, my husband would be dead and I would be in jail.

What?
Oh no!
Holy Crap!
What???

Betrayal Crime of Passion:

The very moment this happened, I froze. As a writer, I was so engrossed by my feelings and thoughts. I actually stopped. What the hell just happened? Standing outside the door of the room where my husband slammed the door in my face, it was still closed. I heard him chatting away with Horsefaceᴵᴾ, and time stopped. I was completely absorbed in dissecting that insanely strong quick uncontrollable urge to violently hurt another. Whoa…wow. I actually understood from that single tiny moment in time, why sane, normal, kind, sweet, good people can go into red and kill. Kill someone they even loved. It is a crime of passion! Now, good Lord, I can see! I understood. It was amazing and horrifying all at the same time. From one single moment everything can all change. Because of a decision. Because of a choice and action. Because you owned a gun. Thank God we didn’t.

Back To Jesus:

Okay. Now that I have lectured you about guns and the worry of having one in your home, let us get back to Jesus and what would he do?

Even if you are not Catholic, do not like religion or do not give a crap, we can all agree that this Jesus guy was a nice, kind, wonderful human that traveled the earth intentionally trying to make life better for many, many people. To love each other, care for each other and just be the best person you can be to one another.

Simple.

But we all screw it up.

I am Catholic. And those words, “What would Jesus do?” have irked and tormented me. Like the other day when someone gave me an extra tip (remember I’m a waitress at a bar at LAX), he tipped me extra by mistake. Yah! Right? I wanted to keep it. Yet, dang! I struggled for a good minute, but then I listened to those words, argued with my inner voice, and went back to him and told the man about his mistake. He was grateful but changed the tab and I lost that money. Money that would have been mine to feed my family or pay for gas, by his mistake, by being honest.

This is where faith and God and trust that things will be okay financially matter.

Jesus on MLC & Marriage?

Since Jesus never got married, using “What would Jesus do” in my marriage has been a molding experience. I have had to make up what would he do with the guy I am married to. When he is mean, when he ignores me, when he goes out drinking till 2am on a Tuesday and cannot drive the kids to school because he is still drunk.

Would Jesus tell him, “What are you doing?? Get your head out of your ass! You have a wife and kids and a life at home. Be a role model!” Or would he say, “You are going through a hard time right now and making choices that have severe consequences. I want you to know I am here for you.”

God knows The I’m Not Happy Manifestoᴵᴾ is playing out in real time right in your own home. The signs of a midlife crisis in a husband are written all over moments like this one.

When I felt my husband pulling away emotionally in 2012, I mirrored him and pulled away too. Ignoring him was a bad idea. This is the opposite of my Be the Dogᴵᴾ Theory and I learned that the hard way.

Midlife men feel lost and easily fall for The Green Grass Deceptionᴵᴾ and wives instead of getting mad, must take actions and steps to guide him back, not push him further away. MLC men in panic about their perceived terrible lives look for an Island of Safetyᴵᴾ  and I was too busy being reactive to see what my own husband needed.

He needed someone like a blanket to help him through his midlife crisis and support him. And yet, when I saw him in a ball sick or sleeping till 11 on a weekday, I was not the wife who went to him and brought comfort saying “What can I do…” Nope.

What I needed in that moment was to bring my Pass the Pepper Toneᴵᴾ and remain calm, easy. Instead I went was selfish thinking about the man he could not be at this time and said, ”What is happening? Why are you on the couch? Do we need to get you mental help?”

Ohh…not nice and a big mistake.

That is when and why he found someone else for support. Some girl who went with a married man because, well, he felt bad and needed someone to care better than what I could do. I cannot blame her for being with a married man who lured her into this horrid MLC game.

But for all those girls out there that cheat with a man who is married, you know better. Shame on you. If you mess with a married man or woman, you are putting so many lives on a path for hurt and destruction.

So What Would Jesus Say?

Jesus would not cheat. Jesus would stay faithful and be the man we all hope the guy we married becomes. A man. Men. Faithful, strong leaders. To be this for us and for our children.

Just yesterday I had a call with a wife who said her husband ignored her when she unloaded 10 bags of groceries, “He just watched me and typed on his phone. I asked him to help and he said he would but never did.”

To order the REAL picture of Jesus that I have on my desk, click here.

If you are having trouble reach out to me: thewifeexpert@gmail.com

Or if you want to schedule a call: Click here.

Or if you want to join my “Bring Him Home” Video Vault Program, I’d love to meet you!

Or if you have any questions about retaliation or find yourself getting angry and wanting revenge, someone else has it covered: Jesus!

Look at these words and let them land in your soul:

“Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” Romans 12:17

“Do Not Repay Anyone evil for evil. Carefully consider what is right.”

And my other favorite:

“Vengeance is mine, I will repay.”

Stay connected to God my dear students and all will be well.
I promise!
xo Laurie ❤️