8 Ways to Feel Confident When You Know He Wants to Leave


8 Ways to Feel Confident When You Know He Wants to Leave is a list made up from girls who, like me, have been there. Right there. Right when he wants to leave and they feel like crap.

how to save marriageSo in a conversation I had with them here is a list we all came up with:

  1. Smile.  Smile.  Smile.  Like a pair of underwear.  Put it on and do not take it off.  Till you go to bed and then you can collapse and cry.  But chances are…that smile creates good feelings and confidence. Let it do it’s job!!
  2. Make plans to go out with girlfriends for happy hour at least once a week.  Dress sexy. Put on perfume.   Say good-bye to the kids.  Say good-bye to him and then walk out. Don’t ignore him.  You want him to see that you are fine without him.
  3. Always looks good.  Dress. Make up.  Hair.  The motto: Look good, smell good. Even at night. Go to Victoria secret, buy some sexy undies and a night gown.  Walk around in undies if you feel confident.  Men see with their eyes.  Let him see what he’s going to miss.
  4. Say little.  Women talk.  Men don’t.  We spill out every detail of our lives with very little prodding. Don’t share anything. If he asks, answer with a quick sentence and smile.  Don’t be rude. EVER.  Always be nice and sweet and kind.  Be brief and to the point.  But be mysterious.  Let him wonder what you are doing and where you are going.
  5. Always be nice.  You do not want him ever, ever to be able to say that you were a bitch during this time.  If you behave with kindness and compassion – he will wonder why he’s leaving you. Be the type of friend anyone would love to have.
  6. Listen. If he talks, listen. Direct eye contact.  Do not give advice or tell him what to do.  End the conversation with, “Oh that’s too bad…”  Or “Oh no…I’m sorry…”  Or “Wow! That’s great!’  No advice.  No opinion.  No suggestion.
  7. Be a GREAT mom.  Take the kids on an adventure. Do something unusual with them.  Plan a mini weekend with you and then. Ask him first because you don’t want him thinking you are stealing the kids.  “Hey, was thinking of going skiing with the kids Friday…you okay with that?  We’ll be back Sunday… Okay?” Let him be sad he’s not going…and that you didn’t invite him.
  8. No arguing. Chance are if he’s thinking of leaving you have been fighting a lot. You may want him to stay.  He wants to go. There in lies the controversy.  The dilemma. The ‘fight’.  You both want different things.  The minute you give up fighting him leaving, the minute he can relax and really examine if he does indeed want to go.
  9. Keep your ego at bay.  We all do stupid things because our egos tell us to be monsters.  Shut yours up now or it will ruin all of the above.
  10. DO NOT GIVE UP.  I fought for my marriage for 5 years straight.  Everyone out there watching you deal with the mess of your marriage will be begging you to let go and give up. If you have to, give up secretly…so you can let the ‘fight’ be nil, but inside, stay the course.  You know what you want.  Your kids are rooting for you too!

midlife crisisIf you need help taking the right steps to make your marriage a rock solid unity.  Private coaching is available to walk beside you and get you what you want.  Feel free to reach out to see if we can help.