Midlife Crisis Husband is Showing Signs of Regret After Leaving Wife

I am in the miracle business…of getting Husbands and Wives who have quit their family or moved to divorce or just walked away, home.  

It’s my passion, my love and what I do best!

Every time a new wife or husband reaches out, I am still shocked at their stories….and it’s the same story:

He left…
He cheated…
How could he do this???

Yet these men in midlife crisis do cheat, they do leave and they do betray many people in their lives.

Then…over time, my research shows these men in midlife crisis slowly begin to wake up, come out of the fog and see the disaster they created.

It’s painful and beyond gut wrenching to believe that they, all alone, single-handedly, and with a smile, created the tornado that bought pain and sadness to so many people they loved.

Sundays are the days when I reach out to old students who have left my program because they either quit, don’t want him home anymore, or married another man.

And if you are one of my old students or a new-wife/husband-student-to-be reading this right now, please make sure you add me to your Christmas list and send me a holiday update card to:  
The Wife Expert
1311 5th Street
Manhattan Beach CA 90266 

I love your stories. And they help me pray for your individual wants.

REGRETS:

Today I spoke with 8 women about their husbands. And I have 3 I want to share.

Jan:

After being conflicted for 2 years about his choice to stay or go, Joe left Jan (his wife of 32 years) for an office employee/woman 3 years younger that Jan. Horseface had 3 small children, each created from a different man, but had the balls to tell Jan, “If you were a good wife, he would not have begged me to be with him.”

Ouch.  I coached Jan to rise up and stand against this evil and she did so well! And when horseface started “pissing” all over Jan’s territory, it was just too much and Jan pulled back.  Soon Joe left for Horseface and continued to antagonize Jan with Facebook posts declaring:  If you love a man, you treat him like a King.

All of my protesting and coaching did not budge Jan. She was done and said, “It’s over. I’m divorcing him, taking my money and leaving.”

Today…? Spoke with Jan this morning and invited her to come speak at my upcoming retreat this next week (Oct 18-21 & Oct 22-25) and she may come! 

It’s been 3 years and 10 months since things went south and 2 years since she filed. And Jan shared that she had learned from her ex in-laws (whom she has stayed close to) that horseface disrespected them and they are now all in a big feud as of 3 weeks ago.

Jan also learned that Horsefaces’ 3 kids are putting pressure between the couple.

I reminded Jan that this is what happens.  Karma catches up. God works his plan.

Jan then shared that she had also heard that if he ex husband dies, horseface is not set to get anything from his will, and that all of his business, and assists will go directly to the kids he had originally with Jan.

I yelped into the phone; “You are Joking?!”

Jan’s voice told me she was smiling as she said, “Right. While I’m not happy how things went down, this girl will get what she deserves.”

Jan and I spoke about what she is doing now and how bitterness toward anyone needs to stay far far away!  She agreed and she was grateful I had called.

Shelly:

Shelly is a stunning funny woman with 4 kids in Denver,  Her husband jumped to a younger woman, 4 years older than her oldest child right about their 27th year of marriage.

Shelly suspected her husband cheating and when she found out he lied and hid. In the end everyone knew he was having an affair and he did not care.  He bought horseface into their family neighborhood and the poor girl, dating a man 30 years her senior, had no idea he was married when he first met her.  

When horseface did find out that “her boyfriend” was still married and the wife wanted him back, she didn’t care and clung to him more.

Later Shelly discovered horseface had a father who left her mom when she was little. Most likely horseface was seeking a father figure or was simply using Shelly’s husband as a Dad replacement?  

Long Term Research:
My research shows these Horsefaces do leave the “dad figure” (all kids leave their parents sooner or later!) and start dating men their age.  The Karma that shows up for these cheating men going for younger women is that these women who interrupted a marriage have no morals or ethics or guide to do the right thing and just as this man is getting older, these Horseface’s have zero interest in taking care of an old man.  Meaning: They never really loved the man, they just wanted security.

Today Shelly is happily with a man she met weeks after she decided to jump off the midlife crisis wheel and divorce her husband. Ironically she said that her husband just came by a few months ago to do one thing: apologize to her and the kids for all the destruction he caused them.  

Was he happy now?  

Shelly said she didn’t think so, “He looked terrible. His face was thin, withdrawn, kinda like he just lost his job or friend.”

I asked her, “Do you think he was really sorry?”

Shelly paused, “I know you say not to expect tears and buggers of apologies, but his ego was still attached to him and I could see it and feel it. He’s not ready to go all in that he screwed up, but the fact that he came over just to tell me that says that this is destroying him and he is fighting his feelings of being ashamed.”

I asked Shelly if she had any regrets?

Again she paused, “Hmm.  I don’t regret marrying him, I have great kids.  I don’t regret going though this because I’m a different person and you helped me with that Laurie. If it wasn’t for you, I’d have killed him and myself. Maybe I regret not being available to him?  If I was not with my boyfriend now, maybe my husband would want to come home?  I’ll never know though….”

Is this new boyfriend worth it?

This time Shelly didn’t pause and said, “Yes. He’s a good man. I got lucky….” Then Shelly laughed and said, “But he’s not perfect either!  Plus his ex-wife is a nightmare.  His kids are ok… I don’t know…ask me in 5 years!”

Dani:

Dani was a 2nd wife, married to her husband for 18 years before he started getting weird.  He was disappearing at night and sometimes midday.  Soon she found he was having an affair with a married woman in a public role. Many heads would roll if that affair was ever discovered and Dani, chose to keep her mouth shut and her head high. 

Sadly she started divorce proceedings that a judge did not stop. And at court, my student could not have made me more proud when the judge stopped talking, looked at her husband and said, “Sir? Excuse me, but are you sure you want to do this? As this woman you are divorcing is the most kindest woman I’ve seen in a long time. They just don’t make good women anymore and you are literally giving up a good one. In fact if I wasn’t married, I’d take her to dinner right now!”

Dani called me with this report as soon as court was over and I was so happy for her!  A judge told her husband he was making a mistake?! BRILLIANT!!

Today? Dani just saw her now ex husband at a cousins wedding and he couldn’t ‘take his eyes off of her.  Dani said they spend the weekend together and that he calls her several times a day every single day.  

I asked her where horseface is right now and she said that horseface was fired from her position and has moved away with her husband.

Do you have hope, Dani?

Dani said, “Yes. Tons. My husband will always be my husband, and I love him and will always love him.  He’s still lost and confused and I can see him in his foggy mess. But it doesn’t scare me anymore.”

I recited the “sticks and stones” verse from childhood.

She laughed, “yes. That’s right, that’s how I feel. If what he did to me could not break me, then I’m good!  I do believe will be back 1000%! He even keeps talking about our future, like “this Christmas…” and “Next spring break…” and invited me to go skiing on his last vacation week this year.”

This was was my Sunday!  Now I’m sitting here with my eldest son, his 2 friends, 1 cat and a football game on.  I’m not watching the game, I’m typing this up for you!

My advice to you right now: NEVER GIVE UP!!  Even if he is gone and all seems so hopeless?  NEVER GIVE UP!!  Create instead the life you want in the next 5 years! FEAR NOTHING.  

And if you need my help, reach out to me: thewifeexpert@gmail.com 

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