Hope For Betrayed Wife

Below is a true event that happened a few days ago in the life of one of my wives, who has been with me here for over a year. I know many of you here are religious or spiritual and while asking God for help, guidance or a sign to show you that your husband will in fact return…there is always this fear that what you ask for is hopeless.

I never gave up hope. And it’s hard. Having faith and being 100% committed to the outcome (his return to the family) is a sure way to make it happen.

In 2013, three months after knowing about my husband’s affair, I had several things happen to me (That event is in here somewhere- I will find it or rewrite it on another page). They all happened within a couple of days and prior to that and after, I’ve never had anything else so intense happen to me. But that event I witnessed changed my entire path on my journey with my husband. So when I hear it from others I keep an open mind.

The wife in the happening below is married to a man having a disclosed affair with woman out of state. For more than a year, the wife has struggled with God for not helping her or showing her any sign that he is with her and that things will work out okay.

I keep telling her to never give up on God and to keep praying, because I know he is there for her and all of you.

This just this past week the below happened.

“It was 3 am Wednesday morning when I woke up. It’s hard sometimes to sleep when you’re consumed with thoughts and concern for your marriage. I got out of bed, not waiting for James or expecting him to come home from working his late at his night job. It had been over a year now that he was sleeping in the guest room instead of in bed with me. I went to grab some water, then went back to bed. A few minutes passed when I heard my husband come home. He normally gets settled in and watches a few minutes of tv, but this time he started to do something else. I was laying in bed when I heard “Go hug him,”

I talked to it, “no….”

It said again, “Go hug him…”

Again I said, “No, he’ll get angry, he doesn’t want me to touch him.”

It said again, “Go hug him…”

I sat on the bed wondering if I should listen to the voice, when it came once more, “Go hug him….”

I walked out of my bedroom and towards where my husband was standing in the kithen and said, “I was told to do this…” and I hugged him.

He asked, “Who told you…?”

I didn’t answer. Maybe it was because it was very late or I was in a cloud too…but I didn’t know who or how to explain what just happened. I just went back to bed, feeling an odd sense of peace and calm as my covers fell around my body.

Then as I lay still in my bed, it talked to me again, “Do you want your grandma to be your angel?”

My 94-year-old grandma was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer. Since my husband has been going through this, I’d been asking God to please, send me an angel to help guide me. I worried, oh no, is that a place for my dads mom? So I answered, “No…” 

It said again, “Do you want your grandma to be your angel?”

I said again, “No…I don’t want my father to suffer.”

It said again, “Do you want your grandma to be your angel?”

I said, “It’s not my choice.”

I forced myself to open my eyes and get up so it would stop asking me. I went to my grateful book and began to write.  That was April 15. Below is the photo of what I wrote.

Days later I received a message saying the same thing.

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It’s when I hear things like this that I’m left to believe you all have free will…to love to hate…to let anger destroy you or to find a way to forgive and be free from punishing him.

What your husband is doing is of his own decision…his own choice…his own mess. Not yours. You deal with you….and make you the best version of you that you possibly can. That’s what you can control and that’s really what you know is all you can do right now.