Dear Betrayed Wife, Your Husband is Having an Affair with My Mom

Betrayed. In your neighborhood? An affair with people you know and trust?

We often don’t get to see or feel the pain of an affair as seen through the eyes of a child.  Below is a conversation shared with me from a woman I’m coaching who is the “Wife” in the below. 

It is brave to share your life….knowing it will help others.  I thanked this open woman (who is on my “Bring Him Home” Video Program, from the bottom of my heart and soul that I can add this on below.

The sad part is….lives, entire families, are being forever destroyed by actions two people have taken and just don’t care.  

This poor child. I want to hug him so badly. Tell him to write this to himself so he won’t keep up this nasty programming.

Here we go…

The Conversation (warning – it’s painful to read): 

Child of a Horseface (Affair Partner) to Betrayed Wifer:

Dear XXX,

I hate that I have to be the one that has to be the one to tell you this because it is extremely wrong in many ways. But your husband, Yes your husband/ex husband, whatever it is, and my mom have been seeing each other for a while. I found out over summer after realizing he was at my house a little too often. And my mom is constantly sleeping at someone else’s house. And after calling her out on it and she denied it for a while but eventually told the truth. I have told her many times that if she or your husband don’t tell you then I will… And she is gone again so I’m 99% sure I know where she is tonight. I am very sorry about this and I don’t want to hurt you but you deserve to know the truth. I don’t approve of this at all and have lost any and all respect for the both of them and will never ever be ok with your husband being part of my family what so ever. I have asked my mom to stop seeing him several times and told her how I felt about it. It is extremely disrespectful to you considering you guys were friends and use to be our neighbors and always treated us so kindly. I do not want to ever see your husband or talk to him ever again. And if I do see him again, it’s gonna be ugly. Please talk to him if you can and voice your opinion. xo (child of horseface)

Betrayed Wife of Cheating Husband Replies to Horseface’s son:

Dear XXXX,

Unfortunately I have known for a very long time, at least I had suspected it. My husband is going through a mid life crisis. While what these two are doing is very wrong, unfortunately it’s a part of a horrible process. I have a coach who is helping me deal with all of this. She says that the majority of the time they “wake” up from this mid life crisis fog, realize they have destroyed their marriage and their family and eventually come back. While I am extremely unhappy about all of this, we will have been married 23 years this month (we are not divorced) and I’m not giving up on him for this one bad year. I do believe he will come around and things will blow up with your mom eventually. I am leaving today to drive to Idaho to buy a house. Unfortunately I’m building it and it will take a while. But I’m hoping eventually he will follow me out there. Because once the affair ends, and they do blow up, and he comes back home, I won’t put up with it ever again. I realize this is a part of the mid life crisis but after he comes through it, and if it ever happens again, I’m done for good. But with 23 years of being married, I will tolerate it this one time period. I’m so so sorry that you, and others, are in the middle of this. It’s not right, it’s not fair. I’ve thought of you a million times. Unfortunately their actions have affected all of us. I did tell the boys, we are not ones to have secrets in this house. My coach is of the opinion that you don’t call them out on it for many reasons I won’t go into. So at this point, I’m not going to say anything yet to him and thus the only reason I haven’t yet. 

Thanks for telling me this. It took a lot of courage. I admire your integrity and honesty. You will go far in life with these values. And again, I’m so sorry we’re all caught up in the horror of this.

It wouldn’t make a difference if I said something anyway. Your mom (this is Horseface) knows I know. We quit doing things together in late Feb/ March. Our last dinner together I told her I was not giving up on my marriage of 22 years, and she told me to move on. So that’s how I knew in my heart what they were doing. A good friend supports you and doesn’t tell you that less than a month after your husband leaves. They are going to do what they are going to do and I don’t want him back because he feels guilty. I want him back because he wants to come back on his own accord. So I’m living my life. I hope he figures his out soon and comes with me but if not I’ll have a new life in Idaho.  xo (betrayed wife)