Letter To Abandoned Left Behind Betrayed Wife of Midlife Crisis Husband

Dear Wife of the Midlife Crisis Husband who is cheating, lying and creating a space for you where questioning everything, even your sanity, plays out every day.

You must understand how common this Midlife Crisis I’m leaving you, I’m not in love with you anymore epidemic is becoming.  

Every day I talk to dozens of women and men from all over the world, as yes this is not only a USA issue, but a worldwide phenomon. Every day when I hear wives say the same things over and over, I still find myself in disbelief that this many men can be acting like clones of each other in counties where the language and cultures are as different as they are.

The other day I spoke with one of my student wives (I do have a video program for women whose husband have left them and their kids for greener grass. If you want to join or check it out, click here)

This woman and I texted back and forth and when I was done, I decided to post what I wrote to her in my private members only “community group”   

Yet today I thought it was so good, I just had to share it on my web page as well.  

The wife is on my program learning how to get her midlife crisis husband home and asked me:
When do they wake up and realize that being with their family will actually bring an end to their fog and feelings of being lonely and lost?

I texted her back the following:

That actually is not the solution to this MLC, midlife crisis problem.

The solution comes when the lost confused husband realizes that the choices he is making to be away from you, his wife, doesn’t make him feel any better than when he’s with you.

That is the bottom line truth.

Because something is happening inside of his head. Something you can’t see.

Think of a computer that doesn’t work when you type a letter.

His computer inside of his brain isn’t working the way it once did.

Something is off.

Something is coo-coo. Only he doesn’t notice.

You, your family, your friends, everyone else notices. Everyone else can see it.

Yet your husband can’t see anything is wrong, nor does he believe anything is wrong. YOU are wrong. YOU are the problem.  Everything and everyone else is the problem. Not him. 

Another question:

One day will he really just wake up and say, “Wait? What?? What the hell is going on? How did I even get here? “

Here is my response:

Well…if that happens, he may not say it to you. He may not say it at all. Only to his own self. As that is what is going on inside of his head.

Right now he’s angry for these weird thoughts he’s having and he doesn’t know how to solve it so he’s just acting out.

There will be so much shame going on inside of him that he will have trouble processing. He will need time and space to move through all the embarrassing pieces of your life that he imploded. 

Your job is to do as I suggest and breathe and love him anyway.

Because when the time comes that he does start to shift, if you are doing the right things, he will move towards you and feel safe to come to family things again. Bottom line: He will get through this because he has a wife just like you.

You are special. You are unique. You are not like the rest of the other wives who get angry and implode the family first. You took note, questioned everything and stayed straight.  And if you haven’t yet, you will now.

For those women who give up on their spouses? And I’ve talked to them a bunch this very morning! Not only do their lives get off course, their husband‘s life will never recover. He will be lost forever.

That’s my data. That’s what I study. That is the truth of what I know.

So what you are doing, my dear wife, big. You are saving his soul. ❤️❤️