How a Midlife Crisis Spouse Can Benefit during Loss.

 

In 1975 a 17 year old concert promoter, Vera, walked out on the stage at Koln German Oprah House.  The pianist she hired to perform at her first event arrived and flat out told her the piano she had rented was unplayable.

So with that, Keith Jarrett walked out. In the rain this young woman chased him and begged him to come back and figure out how to play with the piano and solve the problem.

After much persuasion, Keith returned and stood in front of what would be known as, “The unplayable piano.”

Below is the Ted Talk about the exact story that I have mentioned above,

Do Not Give Up….and in return you get everything!

That evening, Keith Jarrett, gave the performance of his lifetime. It was recorded and to date it is the number one selling concert album of all time.

Why? Because Keith didn’t walk away, he didn’t settle and he didn’t give up.  Instead he figured out how to play the unplayable piano. They were sets of keys that didn’t work, the pedal was sticky and the sound was soft. Yet Keith worked around the unplayable piano and created a masterpiece people still listen to today!

The lesson we (in hurting marriages) can take from this is that most of us don’t want to overcome any hurtles.  We do not want to cope with any messages.  Nor to we want any hassles.  We want easy and fast and if it’s not working, swap it out for what looks like it’s better.  Our brains automatically want to find the easy way out. However when confronted with a challenge, like a midlife crisis, like a husband who wants to leave the family, the left behind spouse is then forced to: figure things out.”

The parallel of the story is fantastic!

The Ted Talk below also goes into other challenges we have in life. There’s actually a test where the teacher switched the front to a difficult, harder to read font.

You would think that would make the students fail, right?  In actual fact, students faced to read a more difficult font during a test, scored better. Why? Because since the font was so hard to read, their brains had to focus harder on what they were reading thereby forcing them to fully understand and then answer!

WOW!!

Right now you are reading this because you are facing some “yucky” issues with your husband. Or your wife. SOOOOOOO many times you want to give up, bail, walk away, settle for what life is giving you. And scream, “Screw you!”

Success is just a couple of steps away…

Don’t walk away!! 
Do not settle!!
Strive to get through this bull shit AND make the great effort!
Commit and focus because while you won’t solve his issues, you will start to create unbelievably music!  

THE BEST YOU!!!  
Through the darkness, out you come anew!

Below is the Ted talk and below the Ted Talk is the actual concert.

Perhaps you will see and hear the pianist making a great effort! And while no one can see or witness what you are doing and why, YOU KNOW!!  I KNOW!!  And if you have kids, in the end, when you do get your hubby home and your family bonds together again (be it in 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years or 10 years!) it will be your greatest achievement!  So slow and steady!  Live your life…knowing exactly what you are doing!

When my husband left me, it was my saddest time, the worst time in my life….and I worked my ass off to not let it destroy me, but to help me grow!  To be better!  Not bitter!  To be my best me!  And I am there!  Not perfect, but I still work on my every day!  

And My husband’s midlife crisis is my greatest accomplishment – and no one has said, “good job!” but I know!!  By me doing what I did, I created a door to become my greatest achievement….while I continue today in my work to help all women and men be not the knife, but the glue to keep their spouse home and family together.

What a gift you all have given me!  I get to see miracles every day!!

xoxo

Let me know if you need me!  TheWifeExpert@gmail.com

Here is the masterpiece!
Keith Jarrett – THE KÖLN CONCERT 

(song by Tomasz Trzcinski)