Wife Letter: Husband Left For Woman

Left Behind Wife Sent Letter To Me (Laurie aka TheWifeExpert)

I was at the darkest time of my life and on the nights I didn’t feel like I was going to make it through, your phone call was my saving grace.… 

 

Eric and I have been together over 15 years, as soon as he started testosterone my husband left  about three weeks later. And a whirlwind began. I chalk up it up as his first ‘manic episode,’ as he met some girl at a bar, they signed a year long lease for a studio apartment, he took her to “Rooms To Go” and they spent over $20,000 on a credit card for furniture.  Three weeks later, he was crying and begging for me back. We returned what we could of the furniture and exchanged a few things, cancelled the new lease he got and basically lost that money.

 

I think I was 8 1/2 months pregnant at that point and just so happy he was back. My husband came back home in July and He came back home hard.

 

We went to counseling, had our second son in September, moved into our dream house that we were building in December.  He had started mood stabilizing medicine, and said he had never felt better in his whole life. Apparently he stopped the medicine, and a month later, April 2021, he left again.

 

I guess by then he started talking to two other women, one of which was a girl he dated in high school, the other married. Within just five weeks of him leaving, I learned he was introducing my 2 year old to the high school girl flame, and she was also pregnant.  (My smart husband didn’t think that happens when you are on Testosterone). Our divorce was final mid November 2021 and they were married three weeks later.

 

Fast forward to now:

1) he’s filing bankruptcy,
2) they are living with her parents

3) and he is miserable.

 

He hasn’t asked to come back but he apologizes to me all the time. And he acknowledges that he ruined his life. He also says, the only reason he left me was because that he couldn’t stop hurting me. Right now he sees the boys maybe once or twice a week and has not taken them overnight.

 

He used to be the most involved dad, when we were together.  He’s a firefighter paramedic and would watch them 24/7 on his days off.  He was absolutely amazing, and was really so good to me.  But for now, he has some deep rooted issues and while it would be so wonderful having my family back together, I can’t do the roller coaster life.

 

Sometimes I feel like God didn’t give me the choice to leave. God knew I wouldn’t make it so he helped force the situation to be over so I could move on and leave.  Otherwise I would never have left.

 

I now took a new job that randomly presented itself to me.  It allowed me to be able to stay in my house & I got an awesome interest rate during refinancing.

 

Oddly enough I’ve been dating the now ex-husband of the married woman my husband first cheated with.  He has been wonderful for me and it’s been so nice to have the companionship, but there is a huge “age gap” between us and I just feel like we are at different points in our life.  

 

I also don’t want to miss out on what God may have in store for me so I’m kind of just in the stagnant confusing place right now. But I really hope I’m in a good, solid strong place by the time my husband (well…ex husband) ends up leaving his wife. Apparently he’s trying to figure out the logistics of it….?

 

Anyways, it isn’t like me to share and express so much, but you already knew everything and since you have been such a wonderful support in such a hard time in my life, I feel like the connection for me is always there… 

 

Thank you for listening 🙂 figured I also owed you an update. Thank you so much for checking in on me!

 

I will never forget the laughs that you gave me in those dark nights 

🙂 

 

-L

MY COMMENT

Do you see how you don’t have to do anything. Karma works itself out. You just be wonderful you! Life works its way out.

Bottom line: She needs to take care of her own self and he will figure his out.

xoxo