Should I Leave My Husband or Wife?

When the people I coach ask me directly “Should I leave my husband” or “should I leave my wife?” or if they ask my opinion on how I feel about the success they will have in their current marriage or relationship (based on what I am told) – I am very honest.  I’m not a fortune teller, or have ESP, I am a researcher and study human psychology data.  

Of course not everyone asks “Will he stop his affair and come home?” Yet when I tell them that I am confident their husband or wife will come home if they follow what I do or say…they suddenly wonder and flat out boldly ask, “Do you every tell everyone that their marriage will work out?” 

Ha…

If people are paying me for coaching them, I coach.  Period. Honestly.  Like a baseball coach.  I help you climb out of the batters box, onto the plate, hold that bat right, stand in the right way, keep your mind on that ball and then hit your marriage out of the park…to a homerun!  

When I hear what is going on inside your marriage, all the details of affairs, abuse, lying, cheating, anger, ignoring, good parts and bad parts (which I need to know), based on ALL the data I have on you, mixed with all  the data/knowledge/information I’ve gained since 2013, I have a pretty good solid assumption of what I think your options are of him coming home again and your marriage succeeding.  

I then share with you the roads and options: if he comes home….this is what you will be facing… or if you leave him this is what you will be facing today, tomorrow and in the future.  Often times I can share what each situation looks like.   and the road you face if you decide to stay or if you decide to go…and what I believe will happen in either choice. After I give you answers to your questions about if you should leave him or not…it is up to you!  I see Miracles happen quite often and anything is possible!!

Here is what I help you solve:

– Is it worth it for me to stay married?
– Should I leave him?
– Will he ever come back to me?
– How do I know I’m making the right choice?

It’s not an easy one. But at the end of all of it, it’s really up to you.I tell people married to an alcoholic the truth… and what that choice looks like if she or he chooses to stay married. Or not?

Don’t forget, I’m an advocate.  I believe in marriage and that we do EVERYTHING to stay.  Period.  Because I believe this is the path of our soul. We all have to face that dark night of the soul at some point…and I truly believe it is what we have to do in order to grow here and become our best selves.

The reason I bring all of this up right now is because this morning I received a letter from a woman who shared with me what I share with you now.  In fact she has given me permission to share her letter to me below.  Identity hidden.

Last year when she called me, she told me she was married for a short time and that her husband was lost. They were young and they had no children.  I gave her my open and honest thoughts and she laughed at my bold and sometimes humorous comments (which is meant to show you that life is not to be taken personally…live it and enjoy it!). I also told her the options she had and what each one would look like. She thanked me, told me she had much to think about and would be in touch.  She also joined my video program and kept in touch.

Below is her letter to me today:

Hi Laurie,

I wanted to write you a quick note to thank you so incredibly much from the bottom of my heart for your advice and coaching during this terrible time for me.

My husband and I filed for divorce last week, and although this wasn’t what I had originally hoped for, I think you and I both agree that this is in fact the best path. My husband and I are both 32 years old, no kids yet, he has no faith and is deep in MLC, while my faith has become much more central to my life during this crisis.

Your guidance allowed me to show him unconditional love and understanding despite his disappearance from our marriage and allowed things to end between us on loving terms. I simply agreed with all of his MLC reasons for leaving “I love you, I just don’t feel in love” and “we’re just very different” being his only reasons for wanting a divorce. I just wished him all the very best, said I would always be a friend and told him he had my full forgiveness when he said the guilt and shame of leaving were eating him up.

While these past months have been the most painful of my life, your videos were like a guiding light, giving me strength, hope and laughter each day. Just to understand MLC and to stop wondering what I had done wrong and blaming myself for his chaos made all the difference in the world for my sanity. You are definitely an angel of God. I feel so much closer to God, reading my Bible every day and serving so much more in my community.

Similar to one of your other wives you mentioned in a video, people keep coming up to me saying I look “glowing”. Who would have thought I could glow in the midst of the terrible trauma I have been going through!

I can now definitely see peace and happiness for myself ahead, despite the pain of saying goodbye to my beloved husband. Like the lady in one of your stories, I CHOOSE HAPPY. And I choose to sign the divorce papers with love and compassion. In the end, the divorce was my only option, because life with a man who refused to consider faith and has no self-acceptance would inevitably have been filled with more pain ahead. And I couldn’t bring children into that mess.

So I let go, let God.

All the best, you are a rockstar!

L- Dubai
xxx

“L” is an amazing bright loving young woman who has her whole world ahead of her. Remember – no matter what your age, we ALL have our “whole world ahead of us!” And we must see that WE are in control of OUR choices with him or w/o him.

“L” has a big future in front of her and I’m confident he will return to her at some point….it will then be will she take him back?  But if he wanders forever….that’s okay too.  He is one person.  ONE.  In a world of billions. She let the 1 person go.  And although I do not advocate for this happening, it does happen and when it does it is okay.  We just move to this new direction….and do it well.  

The best revenge is living our best life!

I truly feel Marriage is a partnership that lasts a LOOOOOOOONNNNNGGG time….through bumps and blocks and hills and mucky valleys. When you come out, you shake it off and keep going – cause there will be another rocky road coming…because that is life. And you are living it!  And when you live with a positive grateful attitude you NEVER lose!!

For those married 10 plus years….with children…I push hard for you to do what I suggest.  It’s not easy, but it IS worth it. 

I’m here if you need me…to ask questions or talk strategy to get him home or to live better or find your way.

You found this page….which means I found you too!
You are no longer “lost!”
I’m here!

xoxo
Laurie