Letting Go of Control…

Most of you already know…control was always my biggest problem.

Type A and had to be in control of my life, my activities and anyone entering my realm.

Before I got married…I was doing everything myself. Probably like you. You were happy and content and lives for yourself.

When I met my hubby and got married, we just did everything for ourselves or each other and didn’t think twice about it.

Then we had kids. No one realizes how difficult having kids is. Suddenly you see don’t have Control over all these little people that you and your husband have created. And then you realize you don’t have control over your husband anymore either! In fact you never really had control him, ever, it just felt like it because it was always just you and him.

Now that there’s all these children around, and the division of house labor goes into full blame of who did more or who did what and who didn’t do anything…it sometimes is overwhelming.And keeping Control becomes an nonstop unwanted past time.

But if I don’t do everything, who will???

That’s what wives tell me quite often.

My husband didn’t do anything in any and I ended up doing pretty much everything. Everything!  And now that he left??? I’m constantly mad at him because he really now doesn’t do anything because he’s not even freaking here!

Let go.  Let go of him and let go of control.

There was one day about 4-5 months into my husband’s MLC when I was in the car by myself and out of nowhere, it hit me….my anger was on me. I had NO CONTROL over my husband at all.  I wanted him to be punished or hurt so that he felt like I did.  And I had been mad for a long time.  And just then, I got a memo from the universe.  NMP.  I could let go of the pain and the constant stress of what he was doing….and where I was going to be.  

I was fine.  I was alive and well and I had so many things others didn’t.

GRATEFUL.  

I had to be grateful and let go.

I did.  It was such a strong moment for me. And after that, I believed that everything would work out for me no matter what.  

All the stress of HOLDING on and not letting go makes it impossible for anything to calm down and work out.  Because there is this tension or negative energy coming from me/you/the left behind spouse.

Let go….Let God!  And if you don’t believe in God, Believe he will come home anyway.

Last night I started to make dinner and no one was home. It was so quiet that I turned on the TV and I saw something that said letting go of control. And I did a double take. God Wink? Yep! God was showing me video that I needed to pass on. I listen to the whole thing while I made dinner…then and then my 22 son walked in and asked me to turn it off.  

I was done cooking and instead of turning it off, I started pushed the back button and started it all over again.  I pretended to turn the TV off, and clicked it back on and immediately ran up the stairs saying I had to return a call to a Wife.

My son says, “Hey…I don’t want that on…!”  

I said, “Oh…okay….it’s good…you may like it…” then I disappeared while dinner cooked. 

20 minutes later, my son was standing at the island staring at the TV and listening.  Yes, it’s that good!  He struggles with God too.  And that’s fine.  Yet, this video is not really about God, it’s about letting Go! 

And right now, even though you want to keep your husband, you won’t be able to keep him until you really and truly let him go!