Midlife Crisis is Generational

I have more stories to share on here than I have time. Today I found this story from a woman that just sent it to me randomly last year!

I liked it so much I saved it to post it here but never did. Today, while looking for something else, it popped up on my computer and I copied it onto this page so you could enjoy!

I’m changing the writer’s name….and leaving the ‘guts.’

“…I probably should explain in more detail about my husband’s parents…and the marriage of my Mother In Law (MIL).  MIL had to divorce her husband because he had financially destroyed her and she had to protect herself.  My MIL did forgive her husband as I never once heard her say a negative word about him.  He went to prison. And When he got out of prison for good behavior and no prior criminal record, he started dating a women 10 years older than him.  (He was a lost soul)  My MIL was so mad and we couldn’t figure out why.  After everything he had done to her, why in the world would she want him back?  (I did not know anything about midlife crisis before my own experience with my husband.)  My husband never talked about his dad.  He never even went to visit him while he was in prison…nothing.

MIL told her husband that she was upset that he was dating another women and yet never tried to fix things between them.  When he did finally break off the relationship with the older women he suddenly started spending time with my MIL.  They were more like friends then a married couple.  She never let him move back in with her.  I was proud of her for putting this boundary in place.  He asked to move in with her several times but she refused every time.  Even when he was sick she would not allow it.  Sadly he passed away last September from lung cancer.   

MIL stopped in my house in February this year and we talked for over 2 hours.  I told her I was always amazed at how she forgave her husband for everything he had put her through.  (MIL had to work 10-hour shifts and many weekends to make ends meet).  She said, “oh, no, I never forgave him completely”.  She went on to say how their marriage was not great and they definitely had plenty of ups and downs.   He was an alcoholic early in their marriage and even missed the birth of their firstborn child. He always had a very addictive personality. 

Obviously, my husband (we are married 17 years) has some serious issues going on.  From what I have been told, my husband’s grandfather was a very mean man. No one had anything kind to say about him.  Then at my FIL’s funeral, my sister-in-law shockingly stated in the eulogy that her dad was not a great father!! I can now see how these issues are passed down through generations.  Many friends and family thought for sure that my husband was going to break their family’s horrid cycle.  Which he has somewhat, as he really is a good father to his children  It’s just so hard watching him act like a teenage boy while trying to co-parent our teenage girls.  Specially since he started this relationship with horseface. His younger secretary. Ugh. Seeing him driving around in his Porche…gross.

One last thing, I want to share!  The crazy eyes that everyone talks about during MLC.  My husband had those same crazy eyes off and on for 3 years prior to discovering his affair. I started counseling right after discovering his affair.  Last August, I was waiting to see my therapist while she was with another client.  Out of nowhere my therapist’s husband comes into the office and just starts talking to me.  He told me his wife (my therapist) had a “honey to do list” for him of things that need fixing at the office.  So he walked around doing stuff and we talked for about 10 minutes. It was weird. Then I noticed that same crazy look in his eyes that I had seen in my husband’s eyes over the past few years! MLC Eyes!!  He told me several times how it was a pleasure to meet me and he was so glad that we had a chance to meet.  It started to creep me out.  I kept thinking this man is having a midlife crisis.  Two weeks later I see my therapist and she is a mess.  She shared with me that her 45-year-old husband was having an affair with the 25-year-old neighbor lady.  I wasn’t even shocked, I could tell by his eyes that he was in crisis.”

It’s in the eyes. Is it possession? A alien invasion or a medical illness?

No one knows but we know the truth.

It’s real.

If you need help – please do not hesitate to reach out to me! I’m here to help you. It’s ME. No one else.

TheWifeExpert @ Gmail.com (no spaces)

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